People who like to read, specially those who read about health and who are conscious of it always prefer to eat chicken breast because it has minute amount of fat. People who are either suicidal or brave eat the part that has 75% fat in it – the chicken’s skin. Even though we don’t read, we are not suicidal, we are brave and can pile drive any sort of fowl. Not to mention, the taste of chicken breast compared to chicken skin is like comparing the blind with 20/20 eyesight with night vision goggles in the dark. For those who want to stay healthy but blind can start peeling the skin off the breast. For those who are brave, let’s start skinning the cowards and make chicken skin barbecue.
Marinate your chicken skin with our basic barbecue jus (and as usual, each 100 grams is to):
1 lime or 3 calamansi or if you don’t have either 1/2 a cup of vinegar for every 500 grams
1 tablespoon of banana ketchup or tomato sauce
1 long chili pepper, any color will do including carnation pink
1 tablespoon of brown sugar
1 teaspoon of salt
1 teaspoon of pepper
1 teaspoon of finely chopped ginger and garlic (did I say for each 100 grams?)
1 small red onion for every 500 grams
2 bay leaves for every 500 grams again
The basic thing to do with your marinade is to mix it all separately first before you dunk Angelina Jolie in to make sure it won’t go brad. Chicken skin is not a sponge; so you need to marinate it for 4 hours first before you poke them with your tiny spears.
Choose bamboo skewers for spears. While you’re marinating your beauties, drown those skewers in water. I don’t know what the reason for it is but I just do it. I suggest you should too because I heard that before they sell those bamboo skewers they put curses in them and the only way to cleanse it from evil incantations is to drop it in water and let it swim. If it stays down it has been cleansed. If it floats you can put a sail on it and maybe take a picture. Too much mucking around 4 hours has passed and your chicken skin is ready for poking!
Now let’s be careful while we do the skewering:
Rule Number 1
Skewer the chicken skins, not your own.
Rule Number 2
Do not play with your food. Do not be silly and spear anyone with your bamboo skewers. Seriously. My auntie-grandma lost her eye when my uncle-grandpa darted in jest a fish bone to her eye.
Rule Number 3
Are your bamboo spears wet? It should be. Because if they are dry as your marriage you can and will plant splinters in your finger. I told you, these bamboo skewers have curses.
Rule Number 4
Don’t be lonely. Skewering your chicken skins require two pairs of hands and up. If you do this alone, I pity you. Grab anyone on the back of their neck to join the poking and spearing spree. If you’re skewering with someone under 18 you might be charged with statutory rape… you fornicator.
Rule Number 5
When skewering, make sure that your chicken skins are not too thick or too thin on the stick. If it’s too thick or too heavy it won’t cook well so you can say hello salmonella. If it’s too thin, you will make coals out of your chicken skin barbecue.
Chicken Skin Barbecue Raw
Happy happy joy joy let’s start doing our chicken skin barbecue!
If you are using coal make sure that the gap between your chicken skin barbecue and fire is not less than 2 inches. Because these suckers are made of fat, there will be flames, there will be fire so watch out with a glass of water on hand to extinguish the inferno. It’s cool if you have some burnt areas on the skin but it’s way cooler if it’s not burnt from the tip of the stick to the handle. Watch it carefully like Dracula.
If you are using an oven griller, that’s 225 degrees Celsius or 391 degrees Fahrenheit, again not less than 2 inches gap.
If you are using a barbecue monster machine, choose medium heat.
Before the cooking side gets burnt or displays a few burnt skins, flip it to the other side. To know if it’s cooked or not, get a part of the tip and give it a taste test. Do not taste test yet if you’ve only cooked one side of it, we are not idiots here. And spit it out if it’s still raw, do not force yourself to swallow raw chicken skin. It ain’t cool.
Discard your marinade. For your finishing touches:
2 tablespoons of nut oil
2 tablespoons of ketchup
Mix them all together and dab the dressing on your chicken skin barbecues.
Chicken Skin Barbecue
If you hate your partner in life, do no kill him/her/it with this chicken skin barbecue recipe. There are many ways to skin a chicken. I suggest you talk about it and rekindle the lost flame. If you get a sudden surge in your blood pressure, there is this thing called Neobloc for 50 milligrams but do not take it yet. See your doctor instead, he might need money these days as everyone seems to be going the healthy road. This recipe is not for the frail of heart.